When your own heart breaks it is excruciating, but watching your child's heart break is nearly unbearable.
Difficult decisions that seem unfair and unreasonable on so many levels have brought us to the point of causing this heart break in our little one. In the end we believe he will be much happier and successful, but right now it just feels bleak and sad.
I wish I had a magic wand to make it all different, but alas that magic escapes me...again.
And now I'm reminded through my sister and my aunt of the wisdom to "wish that each moment happens exactly as it does." It is one of the most difficult things to do when their is pain and suffering involved. It is much easier when all is well.
Allowing ourselves to be in the moments of pain and sorrow, to be with the ones we love in these moments without trying to fix it, smooth it over, make it better is so hard but so essential in our lives. It is the manifestation of the practice of lovingkindness and compassion...honoring all of who we are, all that life brings, and all that is possible...trusting that that the pain will end and through the darkness light will come if we can just be in the moment.
My favorite Buddha quote jumped off the page at me as I opened my blog today and seems so needed through these difficulties - Hatred never ceases by hatred, but by love alone is healed. This is an ancient and eternal truth.
May lovingkindness fill your heart in each moment of each day.
Namaste - Lisa
Post script...I wrote this about six weeks ago, but couldn't bring myself to publish
it as it was all too raw. Things are still challenging, but the
light is beginning to shine through.